Practicing Gratitude Without Ignoring the Hard Things

As the holiday season approaches, the word gratitude may begin popping up more frequently in conversations, advertisements, and social media. We are encouraged to reflect on what we are thankful for, spend time with loved ones, and focus on the positive things in our lives. While practicing gratitude can be a meaningful way to support emotional well-being, it is important to remember that gratitude does not mean ignoring the difficult parts of life.

The holidays can be difficult and may bring up a mixture of emotions. Alongside excitement and happiness, there may be grief, loneliness, family stress, financial pressure, anxiety, or reminders of people who are no longer here. Sometimes, the expectation to feel happy and grateful can make these difficult emotions even harder to navigate.

The truth is that you can be grateful and still have a hard time. Both can exist at the same time.

Making Room for Two Truths

An important concept in emotional wellness is learning that two seemingly opposite experiences can be true at the same time. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), this is known as dialectical thinking or duality.

Rather than viewing experiences as all good or all bad, dialectical thinking encourages us to hold space for multiple truths.

For example:

• I can be grateful for my family AND feel stressed by family gatherings.
• I can be excited about the holidays AND feel sad about someone I have lost.
• I can appreciate where I am in life AND wish certain things were different.

Learning to hold two truths allows us to move away from black-and-white thinking and make room for a more balanced understanding of our experiences.

Practicing Mindful Gratitude

Mindfulness can help us to be more present, in the moment, focused, and aware of what is going on. Rather than rushing through our routines or focusing on what comes next, we can practice being present with what is happening right now.

Here are a few ways to incorporate mindful gratitude into your daily routine:

1. Notice the small things.

It might be enjoying your morning coffee, laughing with a friend, having a quiet moment to yourself, or appreciating a beautiful fall day. Allow yourself to notice and appreciate the little things.

2. Practice the both/and approach.

When experiencing a difficult emotion, try acknowledging it without dismissing the positive aspects of your life. For example: “I am feeling overwhelmed right now, AND I am grateful for the people who support me.”

Try to avoid using the word “but” when acknowledging two experiences. Using “and” allows both feelings to exist without one minimizing or canceling out the other.

3. Pause and be present.

Take a few moments throughout your day to pause and notice your surroundings. What can you see, hear, or feel? Utilize your five senses to help ground yourself in the present moment and bring your attention back to what is happening right now.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel

We don’t have to feel happy all the time, even during the holiday season. It is about developing the ability to recognize, understand, and navigate our emotions.

Give yourself permission to establish boundaries, take breaks, ask for support, and make space for whatever emotions arise.

If the holidays bring up grief, anxiety, loneliness, or overwhelming stress, you are not alone. Talking with a mental health professional can provide a supportive space to process these experiences and develop healthy ways to navigate them. If you are looking for support this holiday season, please reach out to The Behavioral Wellness Group at 440.392.2222. We are here to help.

Genna Weinberg, LPCC
Therapist and In-Person DBT IOP Director
8224 Mentor Ave #208
Mentor OH 44060
P: 440-392-2222 #802 F: 440-565-2349
gweinberg@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.campustherapy.com