PARENTING A CHILD WITH ADHD

While ADHD is believed to be hereditary, effectively managing your child’s ADHD can have a positive effect on both reducing the severity of symptoms and the development of more serious problems over time. Early intervention holds the key to positive outcomes for your child with more positive outcomes in school and for your child’s socialization with peers. Although life with your child may at times seem challenging, you can help create home and school environments that improve your child’s chances for success.

11 Guiding Principles for Raising a Child with ADHD
(taken from Taking Charge of ADHD:
The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents,
by Russell A. Barkley, Ph.D., 1995 & 2000)

“…principle-centered parenting of a child with ADHD means (1) pausing before
reacting to the present misconduct of the child, (2) using this delay to reflect on the
principles contained in this book, and (3) choosing a response to the child that is
consistent with these principles.” (p. 129).

1. Give your child more immediate feedback and consequences.

• Kids with ADHD are “under the control of the moment.”
• To influence these children, you must become a part of that moment.
• When rewarding or disciplining, the sooner the better, and always communicate what they did correctly or incorrectly to earn your response.

2. Give your child more frequent feedback.

• Feel free to reward parts of tasks rather than just whole tasks.
• Provide yourself with reminders (stickers/notes/etc.) around the house and provide feedback on your child’s behavior each time you see one.
• You may even want to set a timer to help you give feedback at regular intervals.

3. Use larger and more powerful consequences.

• Kids with ADHD require more motivation to follow rules or get work done.
• You can use things like physical affection, privileges, treats, or even more material rewards such
  as small toys or money to help reinforce and shape your child’s positive behavior.

4. Use incentives before punishment (positives before negatives).

• Kids with ADHD typically receive many negative consequences, especially by those who do not
  understand their disability.
• When you see undesirable behavior, think of the behavior you’d like to replace it with first.
  Then start looking for that behavior, and praise/reward it.
• “catch your child being good” Praise and rewards should triple discipline or punishment.
• Only punish a behavior if you have rewarded the opposite behavior consistently for at least a
  week. Remember that your child is not “bad” but the behavior you want to correct is “wrong.”
• If you do discipline or punish, keep the consequence in balance with the negative behavior.
• Sometimes the best consequence is a natural consequence that follows from a child’s behavior.
• Never use corporal (spanking) punishment.

5. Strive for consistency.

• Use the same behavior management strategies every time.
• This means across settings, time, and with both parents.
• Don’t give up if you don’t see immediate results.

6. Act, don’t yak!

• Consequences and feedback are much more effective than simply reasoning with your child.

7. Plan ahead for problem situations.

• If you can anticipate where problems may arise, plan for how you should react in those
  situations.
• Before entering a “problem setting”, stop and review with your child 2-3 rules to follow, set up
  the reward/incentive, explain the punishment, and then follow your plan.
• Transitions are triggers for many children with ADHD, they have difficulty shifting from one
  activity or expectation to another.

8. Keep a disability perspective.

• Remember that you are the adult – the child’s teacher and coach.
• Remind yourself of your child’s disability, especially when you’re dealing with disruptive
  behavior.

9. Don’t personalize your child’s problems or disorder.

• If things don’t go exactly as you want them to, don’t think you’re a bad parent or lose your self-
  worth.

10. Practice forgiveness.

• This is the most important – and maybe the most difficult.
• Kids with ADHD can’t always control their actions, and they deserve forgiveness.
• Try to forgive others who don’t understand your child’s disability.
• Learn to forgive yourself for mistakes you may make in managing your child.

11. Time-In or Time-Outs.

• Time-outs alone do not teach emotional/behavior regulation skills. Time-out appropriately used
  involves explaining to the child during a non-crisis time how and why the procedure is being
  used. At the end of the time-out the child should be praised and rewarded for following the
  procedure (a simple hug).
• A general rule of thumb for the length of a time-out is 1 minute for each age of a child.
• After the time- out sit with the child and speak to them calmly and softly about their feelings and
  behaviors. Listen, validate, and then begin to solve the problem.

Additional Parenting Tips

1. Help your child succeed at school, be your child’s best advocate. Talk to the school about a 504
   Plan or Individualized Education Plan.
2. Join a Support Group.
3. Boost confidence by setting aside special time for you and your child. Identify and reinforce your
   child’s strengths, assist your child with social skills, how to make friends and cooperate with others.
4. Have consistent schedules for morning, afternoon, and evening routines.
5. Explain transition times from one activity to another ahead of time. A spike in behavior problems
   often occur at transition times.

Reference and Resources

Barkley, Russell A. Taking charge of ADHD: The complete authoritative guide for parents, Revised Edition. (2005). The Guilford Press.

Barkley, Russell A. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment, 2nd ed. (1998). The Guilford Press.

National Resource Center on ADHD: www.help4adhd.org.
CHADD.org

www.additudemag.com

Monastra, Vincent J. (2014). Parenting children with adhd: 10 lessons that medicine cannot teach, 2nd ed. APA Press.

NEED MORE HELP? Call The Behavioral Wellness Group at 440-392-2222 to schedule an Intake with one of our clinicians.

Frank R. Ezzo, Ph.D., ABPP, LLC
The Behavioral Wellness Group
8224 Mentor Ave #208 Mentor OH 44060
P: 440 392 2222 #852 F: 440 565 2349
fezzo@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com