December Reflection: Looking Back with Compassion

As we wind down the year, we’re met with reminders that encourage us to look back. From Spotify’s Wrapped giving us a “year in music” to notifications from fitness or productivity apps, December offers us a sort of ‘digital highlight reel”. In a way, it’s a time of reflection, giving us insight into who we are and how we spent our year.

This look back can be a great exercise, it can feel like a celebration of what’s shaped us, what we’ve enjoyed, and what we’ve accomplished. But for many, the act of reflection can also feel overwhelming. Seeing it all laid out: what we did and, perhaps, what we didn’t do, can amplify anxiety, spark feelings of frustration or shame, and sometimes leave us questioning our own progress.

Many of us feel the subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressure of the “New Year, New Me” mindset. We may end up setting expectations for January that feel unattainable, especially if we’re measuring against goals from the previous year that didn’t turn out as planned. This can lead to a spiral of self-criticism or guilt that only serves to make us feel stuck.

But what if we approached our reflections with compassion instead of judgment? Instead of focusing on what we didn’t accomplish, what if we took time to acknowledge the effort we put in, the resilience we built, and even the challenges we faced that we didn’t anticipate? Reflection can be a tool for growth and understanding if we can keep kindness at the center of it.

Things to consider:

Setting goals effectively within healthy boundaries is a skill that allows us to aim for growth while avoiding burnout, disappointment, or self-criticism. Here are a few therapeutic tools to help you set goals that are meaningful and manageable—and if you don’t want to set resolutions? That’s fine, too! New Year’s resolutions aren’t a requirement.

• Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Instead of creating goals from a place of self-criticism, try setting them with a mindset of kindness. Self-compassion helps us be gentler with ourselves if we encounter setbacks and reminds us that change is a gradual process. Remember: not every single one of your resolutions will come to fruition.

• Create Small, Mindful Steps: Pace yourself. Break down your goal into small, actionable steps that you can take mindfully. Start with one or two small changes and avoid quickly jumping into a new resolution full speed.

• Use SMART goals: (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) help create clear, attainable, and actionable goals

• Set Boundaries: Setting boundaries around goal setting is crucial to avoid burnout. Boundaries keep us from overextending ourselves and help us stay grounded in what we can realistically achieve.

So, as you look back on your year – whether that’s in music, through photos, or through milestones, try to notice the small victories as well as the big ones. Allow yourself to feel gratitude for where you are and how far you’ve come, no matter what that journey has looked like. Reflection doesn’t have to be an exercise in “fixing” yourself. It can be a way to understand yourself more deeply and carry that understanding into the new year with grace.

Genna Weinberg, LPCC
Therapist and In-Person DBT IOP Director
The Behavioral Wellness Group
8224 Mentor Ave #208     Mentor OH  44060
P:  440 392 2222 #802    F:  440 565 2349
gweinberg@intakebehavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com