Rest Isn’t Something You Have to Earn

• “You’re lazy.”
• “You should be doing more.”
• “Laying down is too indulgent.”
• “You’re going to fall behind.”

Have you ever noticed thoughts like these when you consider taking a break?

As summer begins, many of us think about everything we want – or feel like we have to accomplish. But how often do we intentionally make space for rest?

For many people, rest is not as simple as taking a break. It can feel like a betrayal of expectations, productivity, or responsibility. Slowing down may bring feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety. We may worry about disappointing others, falling behind, being judged, or somehow failing.

Sometimes our discomfort with rest has less to do with the present moment and more to do with cognitive distortions (mental biases) we’ve learned about worth, achievement, and what it means to be “good enough.” If we’ve been taught that our value comes from what we accomplish, resting can feel uncomfortable, even when our minds and bodies need it most.

Here are four ways to begin practicing intentional rest, even when uncomfortable emotions show up:

Start small, stay consistent, and expect some discomfort.
Rest doesn’t have to mean an entire day off. Start with something manageable, like taking 5–10 minutes of intentional downtime, going for a walk, sitting outside, listening to music, reading a few pages of a book, or working on a puzzle.

Remember that if rest feels unfamiliar, discomfort is normal. Like any new skill, it takes practice.

Schedule rest like you would any other commitment.
Put time for rest in your calendar or planner and treat it as an important appointment.
Rest is not the opposite of productivity, it supports it. Regular rest supports stress regulation, improves attention and concentration, and reduces the risk of burnout. This summer, consider making rest part of your plans instead of something you may fit in only if there’s time left over.

Practice self-compassion.
Your worth is not determined by your productivity.

Notice when your inner critic says things like:
• “I should be doing more.”
• “I’m just being lazy.”
• “I haven’t earned a break.”

Instead of accepting those thoughts as facts, acknowledge them and gently challenge them. Try replacing them with a more neutral thought, such as: “rest is needed, not earned” or “taking care of myself helps me show up in a more effective way.”

We don’t have to earn rest. Rest is a basic human need, not a reward.

Give yourself permission to truly rest.
When you choose to rest, allow yourself to be present with it rather than getting ‘stuck’ feeling guilty the entire time. Utilize mindfulness practice by noticing judgments without getting caught in what it might mean.

Rest can look different for everyone. It might include reading, watching your favorite Netflix series, spending time in nature, taking a nap, practicing mindfulness, or enjoying a low-stimulation hobby. There is no “right” way to rest if it leaves you feeling more restored.

Doing less does not mean you’re lazy, it means you’re human. Intentional rest creates the space our minds and bodies need to recover, grow, and reconnect with what matters most. This summer, consider not only what you hope to accomplish, but also how you’ll care for yourself along the way.

If making space for rest feels difficult, you’re not alone. Therapy can help explore unhelpful beliefs while building healthier ways to care for yourself. To get connected with a therapist, contact The Behavioral Wellness Group at 440-392-2222. We’d be happy to help you find a provider who feels like the right fit.

Genna Weinberg, LPCC
Therapist and In-Person DBT IOP Director
8224 Mentor Ave #208
Mentor OH 44060
P: 440-392-2222 #802 F: 440-565-2349
gweinberg@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.campustherapy.com