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You will hear from some of our therapists and psychologists on ways to handle day to day mental health issues you may be facing.

EPISODE 1 – ADDICTION & MENTAL HEALTH
PRESENTED BY MICHAEL POLLAK, PCC-S, LICDC & DUAL DIAGNOSIS IOP FACILITATOR

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No matter which way you support, there is going to be a reaction. I am probably
like many of you in that I prefer a lot of what is being discussed to be behind closed
doors and not where I can be influenced or have a reaction. Maybe, you can relate to
this, but it seems that no matter which way I turn, something is going to be presented
that I may take issue with. How can we avoid reacting so strongly?

Consider the Participants

The first place to go is to consider the participants. First of all, the politicians. They have
every reason to stay in mainstream media and make comments that get them airtime.
Please know that this is the type of thing they have to do in order to stay elected. Some
are doing this because they care about the country, but mostly, they want to keep their
jobs and they do this by getting in front of a camera.

However, the second place is far more influential. This being all of the media. Please
remember that sensationalism means ratings to them. So, they all have an incentive to
get you feeling angry or scared because that means ratings, which means advertisers,
which means increased dollars. Unfortunately, the media has a stronghold on what the
country thinks.

Push the Pause Button

We do not have to react to or believe everything that is reported. We can simply look at
what is reported and wait. Patience can be one of our best friends here. If we think
about it, many times when something is reported, one week later it is completely
different.

One of the reasons we react so strongly is that we react too quickly. The example of the
fight between the US and Ukraine’s leaders is a good one. Many thought that World
War III was going to ensue only to find that they have set another meeting to negotiate
more (this is at the time of this article).

Be Patient

We all want to believe that things are going to be OK. My unasked-for suggestion is to
assume that it will be OK until it is not (again, at the time of this article) and simply wait it
out.

Keep an Open Mind

Please know that this does not imply that you are closed-minded. But, I have to admit
that half of the country disagrees with me. It is worth exploring why and not just
following what my feeds are telling me. I encourage you to do the same.
The quick reaction can lead to an increase in anxiety and anger. As we take a step
back, these are probably emotions we prefer to control better than we have been.
Patience is very helpful here. Furthermore, I would like you to give yourself permission
to either avoid the media or take a step back and avoid reacting too quickly to see how
the different areas play out.  Your stress level will thank you for it. Mine has.

If you need additional help and support navigating this stressful time, please feel free to
reach out to the Behavioral Wellness Group.

Michael J Pollak, PCC-S, LICDC
Director, Dual Diagnosis Program
Co-Founder, The Behavioral Wellness Group
8224 Mentor Ave #208 Mentor OH  44060
P:  440 392 2222 #301 F:  440 565 2349
mpollak@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com

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Judgments happen all around us. It is not uncommon to get judgmental when we find that others have been judging us. They haven’t tried to find out what’s going on within our experiences, or why we chose to do what we did. Alcoholics Anonymous has a terrific belief on this, which is “what other people think about us, feel about us, or how they judge us, is none of our damn business.“ That is 100% on the other person and one that we could simply leave alone. However, the judgments that we put on others are about us! When we judge someone without exploring reasons, that’s about us and not them.

How often do we judge someone for having a different political belief system than we do? We all like to think that we are accepting of others’ beliefs, but have you truly sat down and had a conversation with someone of an opposing political view to hear their reasoning? Did you make the effort to understand their point of view even if you disagree? How about with regards to religious differences? Many of us have heard that we should never discuss politics or religion. Why? Likely it is because of the judgments, and sometimes intolerance, that go with it rather than being curious as to why someone may believe that way.

In teaching Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, one of the key core skills is mindfulness. One of the most significant components of this is the practice of being non-judgmental. Many of us believe that judgments are innate or natural, which is why we do it so easily and thoughtlessly. However, the truth is that judgments are learned based on our experiences, which could include something we observed or something we were told, heard, or read. Judgments are often tied to fear, lack of curiosity, and even sometimes laziness. The fortunate part of something being learned can be unlearned.

How often do we judge OURSELVES without allowing for the explanation that there could have been a good reason why we chose what we chose, just because otherscommented or disagreed with our behavior? In many cases, if someone we care about was in the exact same situation, we would understand. But, if we choose the same behavior that others disapprove of, there must be something inherently wrong with us. I hope that this sounds as unreasonable to you, the reader, as it does to me.

I will support the idea that lessening our judgments can be difficult. We have years, if not decades, invested in a specific belief system. So, to back off this behavior pattern may take a while. However, it has been found that when you back off judging others, you worry a lot less about how others judge you. It is a very freeing feeling. But it is a feeling that takes some time to get to.

If you struggle with this and want to work toward lessening judgments and increasing curiosity, please feel free to reach out by phone or email.

Michael J Pollak, PCC-S, LICDC
Therapist and Dual Diagnosis IOP Director
The Behavioral Wellness Group

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Let’s look at how many in our society have acted, including us. For example, how many of us have looked at something on social media and became incensed? We get mad at others’ political beliefs, religious beliefs, or even if they are simply having a good time somewhere. Then, if we disagree with their post, instead of just moving on, we may comment with the hope or belief that will change something. After that, when it gets responded to in a manner that opposes your viewpoint……..well, now the rage starts! And why? Their viewpoint doesn’t seem to change, nor does yours. Typically, they are just as mad as we are and they dig their heels in too. If you disagree, please email me at the address below because rarely do viewpoints change based on angry comments. People believe how they want to believe and that, honestly, is one of the great things about where we live. We are allowed to do that. However, instead of celebrating differences, we just get angrier and angrier. Then, we look for more ways to express our rage since our original choice wasn’t very effective. This can come out in how we drive, how we express ourselves at work or with others, an increase in drinking, gambling, etc. Not surprisingly, these don’t work either.

This is not meant to imply, “Don’t ever get angry”. That is not possible nor healthy. However, we don’t seem to recognize our goal when we are expressing our anger. We just want people to know how angry we are, which is ineffective when pushing for change. Try these ideas to see if your anger lessens:

• Taking time to understand where the other person may be coming from which could calm both sides.
• Slow things down.
• Say back to someone what you are hearing just to make sure you heard it correctly and
• think through how you want to respond before doing it, both verbally or in text.

It is remarkable that listening to those with alternate viewpoints has offered some phenomenal conversations, some that have allowed me to temper some of my viewpoints and allowed theirs to be altered as well. The nice part about that is that how much the anger lessens on both sides of the conversation.

As stated earlier, I am open to further discussion about any of this. However, it is advisable and often important to look at our anger and see if a) it is a problem and b) do we want to alter it? Some anger is worth our time, some is not. It may be time to take a look at ours.

Michael J. Pollak, PCC-S, LICDC
Co-Founder and Dual Diagnosis IOP Director

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Phone: 440-392-2222 opt. 1
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Instagram: @thebehavioralwellness

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Phone: 440-392-2222 opt. 1
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Instagram: @thebehavioralwellness

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If you would like to schedule an appointment with Michael Pollak, you can reach him at:

Email: mpollak@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
Phone: 440-392-2222 opt. 1
Follow us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebehavioralwellnessgroup
Follow us on Instagram: @thebehavioralwellness

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Questions? Comments? Concerns?
Email us at intake@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
-OR-
Call us at 440-392-2222 x 308

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